Mark Hayward Is My Hero

Another bachelor recipe for those looking for easy food action.

—-

Fancy-Pants Frozen Pizza
With very little planning you can make regular old frozen pizza into a fancy taste treat.

You will need:

• 1 frozen pizza
• 1 can sliced Black Olives
• 1 or 2 Tablespoons chopped onion
• Dried crushed basil

Optional ingredients:

• 1 small can Pineapple Chunks
• ¼ Red or Green Pepper, chopped
• whatever else you like on pizza

• a big knife or pizza cutter

Preheat oven to temp. listed on pizza.  As the oven heats up prepare your ingredients and put them on the pizza.  The real secret of fancying-up a pizza is the Basil.  Basil is the gate-keeper between boring and fancy.  Don’t go crazy with it, a nice sprinkling will do.  For added panache, I like to top my cooked pizza with a little hot sauce.

Here’s another bachelor recipe for those of you who need it.

——

Macaroni & Cheese Variations
I find that if I add a little broccoli I feel a lot less lame for eating macaroni that came from a box.

You will need:

• 1 box of macaroni and cheese mix (I prefer Kraft Mac ‘n Cheese Spirals. I can’t explain it, but the spirals just taste better.)
• a generous handfull of raw broccoli

• a small pot
• a small knife
• a spoon (can be small too if consistency makes you happy)

Cook the mac & cheese according to the instructions on the box. [See Tip 1] While the noodles are cooking, chop the broccoli. [See Tip 2] When the noodles are finished cooking, throw the broccoli into the water with the noodles and count to 5. Don’t overcook the broccoli because that’s nasty. Drain the noodles and broccoli. Mix in sauce etc. Enjoy.

Another, much saltier, and less healthy version is to substitute the broccoli with cut-up hot dogs (or Tofu Pups for that matter). Just remember to poke holes in the skin if you microwave them.

Tips:
1) Be careful not to overcook the noodles because that’s nasty. In fact I often undercook them by a minute or two since I like noodles a little Al Dente (Italian for “not gross and squishy”).
2) When cutting broccoli I find it easiest to cut off a small branch, turn it upside-down and cut down most of the way into the stalk. Then pull the stalk apart the rest of the way. This helps to prevent the annoying little buds from going everywhere except your food.

My bachelor buddies have wanted me to publish my bachelor recipes for a while now so here you go guys. These are recipes that are about as fast and easy as you can get while still having some nutritional value. This is about as low-brow as food can get, but if you tend to stand over the sink eating cold beans from a can with a spoon, this will be a big step up. If you are interested in higher-end food I will post some more involved recipes later.

Mark’s Not-Too-Hot-To-Eat-Right-This-Instant Veggie Ramen

Ramen is delicious, but when it’s finished it has virtually no food value, and it’s too hot to eat immediately. This last fact is especially annoying when you are so hungry that you could die.

You will need:

• 1 pkg ramen soup
• frozen corn (about three handfuls)
• frozen spinach (one ice cube sized chunk)
• a generous handful of raw broccoli cut into small pieces

• a small pot
• a spoon
• a REALLY big knife

Cook up your favorite flavor of Ramen. While the noodles are cooking you can chop the broccoli [See Tip 1]. After turning off the heat and putting in the flavor packet, drop the raw broccoli into the water. Stir the broccoli into the soup and let it sit for at least 10 seconds. Use the REALLY big knife, on a cutting board, to lop off an ice cube sized chunk from the block of frozen spinach. Avoid lopping off any fingers in the process. [See Tip 2] Add the three handfuls of frozen corn and the chunk of frozen spinach. The spinach is not enough to really affect the flavor much, but it adds some nutrition, and cools the soup down just a little bit more. Stir until everything has thawed. You now have a more or less healthy pot of soup that is the perfect temperature for immediate consumption. Pick up your spoon and eat directly out of the pot. Feel free to sit down to read or watch TV instead of eating while standing over the sink.

Tips:
1) When cutting broccoli I find it easiest to cut off a small branch, turn it upside-down and cut down most of the way into the stalk. Then pull the stalk apart the rest of the way. This helps to prevent the annoying little buds from going everywhere except your food.
2) For lopping off a chunk of frozen spinach while NOT lopping off your fingers, I recommend one hand griping the handle of the knife, and the other hand open flat, pushing down on the back of the blade.